Tuesday, July 13, 2010

What I am and what I know...

As I was changing my daughters diaper and listening to her twin brother have a melt down in the next room it occurred to me that I was a better mother before I had kids!

How did I do it? I was a mothers helper, nanny, babysitter extraordinaire! Has life in the business world really changed me, or am I human now? No longer a 21 year old super girl (who got to leave at the end of the day)!

The good news – I accept it.

I am mother – hear me groan.

Listen up ladies – it’s all good. I realized awhile ago, somewhere on the road to sleeping 4 hours a night, that doing your best does not mean that it is the best there is, everyday. It just means doing the best that you have, every minute of every day. Sometimes the best you can give is 10%, sometimes it is 110%.

Here is my list of priorities; Love, Full tummies, Empty diapers, Clean clothes (subjective!).

Somewhere between the fantasy family life I had planned for myself and the reality of my life as a single 40 year old mother of twins I stopped caring what people think. I started to believe in myself and I learned gratitude.

I am so grateful for the life that I have, the one that I chose and made “all by myself”.

Things I never truly understood until I was a mother (of multiples):

  • There are days when at 8am you start counting the hours until you can put them to bed at night
  • There is always enough room on your lap for one more, no matter where you are or how small your lap is
  • There is no better sound in the world that that of “your new alarm clock” when it wakes up after finally sleeping 6, 8 and even 10 hours through the night for the first time
  • There is magic at play in the world, it exists in your hugs, their smiles and the way you can function on no sleep
  • You will never be the same, and it’s good
  • “They” lie to you when “they” tell you that you won’t mind when it is your own kid, Poop can be disgusting, no matter whose it is. You just do it anyway.
  • Your new mantra in life becomes “I am the mother, I can do this” and then you can
  • Once the babies are asleep for more than 20 mins you begin to live in fear of the doorbell ringing, the dog barking, the pots clanging or any other noise that might penetrate their subconscious and make them say – “Hey, what am I missing”
  • No matter where or how they fall asleep, you will not move them, touch them or breathe on them and doing so is punishable by death.
  • All your ideas of what good parenting is – GONE. Good parenting is survival and love. If the kids are happy and somewhat clean (for at least 5 mins a day) you are a master.
  • You will look forward to any chance you get to leave them for a bit of “you” time until the moment you have to walk out the door.
  • There are never enough extra laundry baskets.
  • There are never enough bottles.
  • There are never enough spoons, microwavable baby bowls, advil, blankets, sheets, face clothes, bibs, hours in a day, hours of sleep in a night, chances to go to the grocery store, or opportunities to sit quietly with a cup of coffee and you can forget ever going to the bathroom again.
  • You need a bigger freezer, no, way bigger.
  • It is truly wonderful and validating when someone younger and in better shape than you says “I don’t know how you do this all day, I am exhausted.”
  • You smile, sooo much more everyday than you ever used to or thought you could.
  • You know guilt.
  • You know what true, deep, all encompassing love really feels like and see it reflected (I am sure this changes to contempt when we hit the teen years, will let you know).
  • If you have carpets, you need a carpet cleaner.
  • Babies are bendy and resilient and made to survive new parents.
  • Its ok to let it all go and just hang on till help comes.
  • You need help.
  • You need lots and lots and lots of help. Sometimes with the kids, sometimes with your laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dinner, and sometimes just with your spirit.
  • The emergency room is a very very scary place.
  • This is a fly by the seat of your pants game.
  • The girl guide motto is your best friend “Be Prepared”.
  • Any experience you have working in triage will help you immensely. You spend much of the day determining level of need.
  • There are days when you get an unexpected rush of joy at seeing them after a nap.
  • You live with abundance and you love abundance.
  • Hugs should always be a full contact sport.

Oh...and naps are never long enough...the beasts are waking...

Catch my new blog at: http://doinitall-myway.blogspot.com/

Some ideas for stripper toddlers!!

I have seen a lot of my Multiples Mommy friends online later have stripper toddlers that get naked and go potty on the floor.

No Fun!!

My heart goes out to you all and a big hug to all of you out there.

I do have a few ideas though that may help!!

Wear a onesie on them BACKWARDS!!
Seriously, get a size larger if necessary. Gerber makes onesies in larger sizes and you can get the onesue extenders too for a bigger toddler. The child (in theory) should not be able to read the crotch snaps if they are in the back.

Onesies at Babies R US

Onesie extenders at onestepahead.com (One of my personal favorite online kids stores)

Use Mitten clips for fastening their shirts to their pants or shorts!! Yes, I know it is a crazy idea but it should keep the clothes ON!!!  That is what is important!!

I found these and other childrens clips and Suspenders at the Suspender Store

I also found them on amazon.com

Suspenders could be a huge help too, and they make them in many cute parrents and colors!!

So I leave you with a hopeful set of ideas and really hope things improve quickly!!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Two year old twins can really wear you out!!

I noticed that not only are my twins a handful recently, but other Mothers of newly two year old twins seem to be dealing with the same issues.  WOW, you double bundles of cuteness can really put Mama to work!!

I see a lot of the same posts online from other twin moms with two year olds. Then I realize HOLY COW that happens here too!!

I am trying to be objective, observant, and optimistic at the same time. So far, mostly so good.

They are SO BUSY, they need to go out every day and play with other kids or it is nothing but madness and terror!!

I wonder if it is because there are two of them. What makes these twins tick? I had singletons close in age and they were not this way.

Singletons don't seem to be quite like this. They have to get out of the house and be outdoors or somewhere other than inside the house every morning.

It really can be exhausting though. I seriously just go go go til' I am completely out of steam and then I have to collapse for a day and let Daddy take them out in the yard and wear them out.

I take them on a 2-3 our playdate every morning. They seem to be best off if we grab some "on the go" breakfast, healthy snacks, juice, etc. We meet up with our playgroup 7 days a week now.


Not because I have that much energy, surely not.
Not because I have a growing need to socialize with other Moms daily
Not because I am bored to tears

Why then?

BECAUSE THEY GO APESH*T mad if I do not take them for that outing.
We start stripping, going potty on the floor, throwing food, throwing tantrums, biting, hitting, kicking, pushing, slapping, screaming, messing up everything, tossing toys from here to kingdom come, and fighting like crazy.

If I do this morning playdate, they come home and literally are cool little easy-going sweeties for the rest of the day. Well, mostly.

I have found that they need to graze all day. If they get hungry or thirsty and the food is not already within arms reach to snack and drink...they beat the living daylights out of one another.

They will just haul off and start toddler smackdown.

I try to be very observant of these little munchkins. They are nothing like singletons. Seriously a twins brain must work so much differently than a singleton.

Thank goodness Daddy's work schedule allows time for him to take over and entertain a few times a month. I Will go go go until that one morning I get up and feel like I am 104 instead of 34. So that day is my "siesta" day.

For those with no Daddy available in the morning for the playdate.....you will have to find a way to work around it or get a lot of extra sleep.

Maybe have an "in home" playdate on that day.

They need to interact with other kids or they really act out badly.

What's funny is that half of the time they do not even really play with the other kids..they just like to be with them.

If you are not in a playgroup start one or go to meetup.com and for the love of your sanity..find one!!
Nothing on meetup?  try yahoo groups.

I know that all kids need to socialize and they all need activities and playtime but twins really seem to be so much different. It's like there is no option to avoid it.

So, Moms of two year old twins..... keep the snacks coming the juice/water/milk cups filled and go on playdates every morning....or as much as humanly possibly.

OH and I also noticed if my twins toys get too messy they act out more too.

The attitudes really change when the toys are all nice and organized!!